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Cold as Ice

December 16, 2010

As much as I love the snow, there’s nothing worse than getting into a freezing car.

If I was a girl, I’d acquire a boyfriend just so I could send him into the bitter cold to warm up the car while I drank hot chocolate and watched E! News for 15 minutes.

Lucky for you, I’ve developed a method for keeping yourself warm while traveling with a friend.

1) Make sure you make it clear that you can not find your keys.  Put them under your mattress, in a shoe, pretty much anywhere your friend while not be able to find them for you.  This will force them to drive.

2)  Leave your cell phone behind.

3) When you get to the car, wait until your friend starts it and then starting patting your coat and pants’ pockets, to create the facade that you’re looking for something.  Then inform them that you forgot your cell phone and you need to retrieve it at once.  Make them believe you know exactly where it is and that you’ll only be a second.

4) Since you know exactly where your cell phone is, grab it and relax in the warmth of your household while your friend warms up the car for you.  Wait for the amount of time you think it will take the warm the car, and when you get back to the car, tell them you couldn’t find your phone.

Is this a little immoral? Sure, but you’ll be warm.  You’re only stabbing your friend in the back if they turn around

Could your friend walk back into the house and catch you? Maybe, but chances are they will be too cold and miserable to get out of the car.  The years you’ve put into the friendship will make them believe you’re actually looking for your cell phone and this will allow you to take full advantage of their trust.

Even if they do catch you, are they going to stop being your friend over something as silly as this? Nope.  They’ll probably be mad for a little while, but they’ll get over it.  It’s a win-win.

There’s no reason for both of you to be cold, and if anyone is going to be warm, it might as well be you.


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